How Do You Know If a Relationship Is Working for You?
Intuitive, healer, and teacher Maryann Russell addresses the reoccurring themes she often encounters in her work an as intuitive and the ways in which she helps her clients navigate these emotional blocks. It’s through working with a specific growth mindset that we allow ourselves to become active participants within our lives, rather than victims.
How does one know that their relationship is working for them? The simplest answer to this question is, you’ll feel a centeredness of peacefulness during communication. When you have something to ask your partner, you’ll simply feel comfortable to ask. There won’t be any fuss with “should I ask or shouldn’t I ask,” you’ll ask because you have a comfort in sharing what you feel matters to you to share. And no fussing with whether it will matter to your partner. You’ll truly feel comfortable communicating everything, and a desire to share from this perspective because of the comfort in knowing who you are and what matters to you. This means you will not be burdening the relationship with the confusion of judgement. In addition, you’ll also be comfortable listening when your partner’s sharing.
What are problem signs and symptoms, and what are considered natural relationship “growing pains?” First of all, please pay attention to your physical body giving you those signs or “cues” relating to your feelings. This is the most difficult work as it has to do with becoming conscious. When we know what we’re feeling, we’ll know what choices to make and feel wise doing so.
Once we are “cued in” to ourselves, we will begin to notice when we feel happy or yes, sad. These are the moments we need to be available to speak our feelings to our partner, with no judgement of self or partner. Just simply stating that “I’m suddenly aware that I’m feeling sad about… blah blah blah.” Yes, simple. If you are conscious, you will notice that when you are stating this, you are also aware that you’re holding your breath, or you’re talking really fast, or you’re eating while talking and all the while, you’re waiting for your partner to say something that you have predetermined or need them to say, meaning “expecting” them to say. This isn’t a simple experience of speaking your feelings, or truth. This is an experience of manipulation. You’re wanting, or needing, or expecting an outcome that you’ve predetermined is the reason for this conversation. And your physical body is showing you how difficult it is to share whatever you really want to share in this moment. So, pay attention, be conscious of your feelings at every moment, and simply start the conversation with … “this is difficult, or scary, or important to me.” Communication is so much more difficult when we unconsciously “need” our partner to say something and they didn’t. Ah, yes –expectations. A sure way to control a relationship to a disastrous ending. When we expect the other to do or say something which they didn’t actually offer us, the feeling of abandonment will always follow. Instead, simply speak your truth and release from expectations. This way you’ll actually hear what your partner is feeling, as well.
What does real effort and love look and feel like in a long-lasting romantic relationship? Simply communication of grace, which means speaking truth without expectations of the others response or actions. This means you’ll be asking each other to be consciously aware of their feelings and share what really does matter to yourselves, nurturing this awareness in your words and actions. You state the obvious, “I really want to share this information with you, and I’m aware that I’m also wanting you to accept it easily.” Now your partner is about to hear your true feelings about something important to you and not feel the burden of being manipulated during a conversation.
I hope this information has been helpful to you all in nurturing yourselves in deeply loving, compassionate and conscious relationships.
Maryann’s journey from her many years of emergency nursing to alternative healing has included Massage Therapy and Reflexology education at the Polarity Realization Center in Portland, Maine and advanced training in CranioSacral Therapy at the Upledger Institute of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. She is also a Reiki Master/Teacher and enjoyed teaching the Doctors, Nurses and Volunteers of Southern Maine Hospice Center Reiki Level l. Her greatest gifts as an Intuitive were re-awakened through her studies of Intuition Therapy and Soul Readings with renowned healer and author, Rosalie Deer Heart. Rosalie’s support and nurturance brought Maryann to an experience of awakening peacefully to her gifts, which she now enjoys sharing worldwide in her very busy practice. Visit her website for additional information.