A Soul Session + Maryann Russell : Self Abandonment
Maryann Russell is a soul reader. She is also a Healer, Intuitive, Medium, Craniosacral Therapist, and Registered Nurse, however, like no one else, Maryann can connect to our souls. We are pleased to present another of a monthly series called “A Soul Session” where Maryann will answer some of the most compelling, big-picture, questions that we have often asked ourselves at different points in our lives.
THE LBM: Maryann, what is the one issue that you see in your practice, that causes us the most problems in our lives?
MARYANN: The one consistent subject that I hear myself talking about is Abandonment.
I can find a place on each person’s life path, in their childhood, where they self abandon. Although there are many different scenarios, the root struggle seems to be based in the fear of being “wrong or bad.” That duality thing.
We hear these messages, “Ohhhh good girl I love you.” or … “Ohhhh bad girl” “Go!” or worse a physical punishment is handed out.
The child feels so awful “feeling” wrong or bad again and again that they no longer want to feel “anything” … so we begin thinking of how to be good, not bad and right, not wrong – duality. This turns us into pleasing and for some, that perfection pathway begins. All to be that good child for whomever is bringing us up, so we never have to feel abandon-able by the people we depend on. Which is so very sad as we then begin to hand ourselves over to whomever we’re trying to be perfect for.
This seems to set us up for such disappointments and again, self abandonment. Meaning, we just don’t want to know how awful we’re feeling so we being investing in anything that will keep us from feeling. And if we’re working to be perfect … then we don’t know that we already are, perfect. So we try really hard to be perfect for someone … because, again, we just haven’t realized we already are perfect, so we work to be perfect, because we don’t know we already ARE PERFECT. Self Abandonment.
Then one day we awaken and wonder … “why don’t I know how to express my feelings? Actually, what am I feeling?” Self Abandoned.
THE LBM: Can you describe some of the other negative consequences of self abandonment that can manifest in our lives?
MARYANN: The most obvious consequence is the disconnect from our wisdom of truth. We end up so invested or focused on those around us we lose track of our preciousness. We don’t want to know what matters to us any longer, we just stay focused on “thinking” of what actions to do next and we do not want to know what those precious feelings are telling us. We then ultimately lose track of our knowing, therefore, our wisdom of truth.
When we ask, “What is it I’m feeling?” or “What is it I’m feeling makes sense to me?” That’s a one way track into the heart since the heart is the digestion center for feelings. If we want to know what were feeling/sensing then the heart will be tapped into and begin digesting those feelings. This is where that small-child-messaging-system below our conscious awareness gets triggered and begins to respond by screaming, “no … I don’t want to know what I’m feeling!” “Remember, I’ll feel wrong and bad again!” ” Just think about what I should or shouldn’t be saying or doing.” This shuts that door to connecting to those amazing feelings we were just about to tap into because that fear button has just been triggered once again. Yikes! Self abandonment again and therefore, loss of sense of self.
If, however, we hang in there loving that sweet child, who’s freaking out in that moment, and stay focused in the experience of nurturing sweet, self-love, then we’ll begin to connect those dots that our heart is feeling/sensing and … yayayayay … consciously realize what it is in that very moment that does “make sense” or “matters” to us – our wisdom of truth, and “BONUS” release from self abandonment!!! Imagine making all your choices and decisions from this very blessed and sacred place???
THE LBM: As always, we are grateful and thank you, Maryann.