Loving Through the Past and the Present: A Parenting Journey
ASK MEwith MEGAN WEKS
When I was dating my now husband, he shared some wisdom. I had asked him, “How can you make marriage last so long and still be happy?” I hadn’t had the examples he had in life. I wasn’t a believer. He told me simply, “You must remain enthusiastic about your partner.” It was my husband who healed me and helped me to become a believer in love and marriage. He lost his previous wife to cancer. They were college sweethearts.
Life is a progression and we are only where we are because of what has come beforehand. Sometimes we are triggered from the past. It’s especially easy when you have new family who is made up from fifty percent of the past. The children. I was asked how to remain the most radiant version of oneself while living with constant reminders of the past. If you can remain in your heart, you will stay within your radiance.
When we are concerned or worried over anything from the past, our thoughts and behaviors are not originating from our heart’s space. When we are stuck in our mind/worry/brain/ego space, we lose our personal radiance. As easy as it is to shift out of our heart’s space and into our minds, this dulls and dims our light every single time. Do you want to remain radiant and enthusiastic? It starts with training your mind. When I say mind, I mean training yourself to stay out of your mind and into your heart.
Feelings creep in that we all have inside of us from time to time. It’s what you do with those feelings which makes all of the difference.
Jealousy, hatred, contempt, blame, coldness, and pride.
Do they creep into your mind?
Do you find yourself feeling bitter?
Maybe he has a relationship with her. They speak frequently. Maybe you heard something she said about you through the child. Maybe she is gorgeous. Maybe there is no reason for it and you’re still feeling this way from time to time.
Do your fears creep in?
What are they?
Don’t stuff them down.
Give them acceptance.
A stepparent can make a profound impact on a child. Negatively or positively. Expectations get compounded into the equation. You want to be first. So do they. They don’t understand the depth of the compromise that you’re making. They may never understand until they have children or stepchildren of their own.
Stay in your heart and lean toward compassion, love, admiration, and empathy.
Practice gratitude. Above all, practice patience.
The connection to the past will always be there. It will not go away. It’s your acceptance of the past and present combined that will soften the feelings and bring the light. Stay in your heart. Remember, you’re there for a reason.
Megan Weks is an international dating and relationship expert who specializes in helping women get the admiration they deserve from men, and to keep it. She is a certified specialist in her field, but one of her biggest credentials is her personal story. Living in New York City for over a decade, Megan has had the opportunity to meet and date many different men. Through working with a relationship guru, she literally changed from crumb-picking and obsessing over men who didn’t deserve her, to being called a “man whisperer” who men (including her now-husband) would never leave. Megan’s career is devoted to helping women who struggle with the men in their lives, to turn it all around and keep the men they desire. Megan coaches individual women in intense programs with her proven Lean Back for Love System and principles. She also runs a private online woman’s discussion group where women are supported with these principles. You can connect with her on her website www.meganweks.com. LVBX readers are also eligible to receive a complimentary feminine energy mini-session. Reach out to her on Twitter or Facebook, and subscribe to her LVBX LIVE videos and join her Facebook group The Sovereign Jewel Sisterhood.
Megan’s Philosophy: Lean Back (definition) – The posture of a fully self-actualized woman, which allows men and their energies to flow toward her. She is focused on herself and her life as an individual, in preparation and willingness to receive her greatest love in return.